A bit of satire to help jump start the week – angered by the recent news about Gamestop’s policy regarding ‘new’ games, one guy is selling his ‘new’ copy of Valkyria Chronicles for $4,995 US Dollars – what sounds like a fairly steep price – but he explains his reasons for the price in detail:

I am selling a “Gamestop NEW” (also known as gutted) PS3 game entitled Valkria Chronicles. This is extremely rare to find in this state considering most other “new” / “sealed” games don’t have the scratches on the disc nor the fingerprint smudges nor the somehow missing instruction manual that this version has.

Oh-ho, we see what you did there. The posting explains further:

Honestly, your sealed copy of Final Fantasy VII or Contra Force pales in comparison to this game as a Gamestop employee has already tested it out to make sure it works. Are you sure your Y-fold FFVII will even work?

The Q&A section also dives into the satire, including:

Q: I’m really interested in buying this games right now. Can you ship to Canada with USPS please?
A: Possibly, let me see if the pony express is still in business.

Q: Is this the rare bearded Selvaria cover variant? It’s difficult to tell from the picture.
A: I’m asking $5,000 for this version, if it was the one you pointed out the price would be 10x as high.

You can find the full listing here. We’re not taking any stances on this end regarding the policy, but anytime someone prices a fantastic game of ours just under five grand and emblazons it in well-done satire, we’re sure to take note.

Granted, the price may be a little high, but on the plus side – it does come with free shipping.